New Starts
I've been living down in Exeter for almost a month now and let me tell you, it has been a wild ride.
I moved here to start a masters degree in international relations and so far so good but also, so stressful. I mean, everyone told me it would be harder than undergrad so I'm not sure why I'm surprised at the level up to postgrad life haha. Just taking one day at a time and this time next year (fingers crossed; touch wood) ya girl will have two degrees to her name!
I hope that doesn't come across as cocky or showing off. Two years ago I didn't even think I was capable of graduating from undergrad and now here I am. It's all just a bit crazy. I'm so incredibly grateful for the opportunities I've been given here.
If you've read one of my posts before, you'll know I have social anxiety, which can be a massive pain in the arse when you've just moved to a brand new place where you don't know anyone.
After my parents dropped me off and it was time to actually settle into my new life on my own, it was very overwhelming and I spent many hours crying in my shower, overthinking every little thing that could possibly happen. The ugly side of anxiety that no one really openly talks about. This is picture I took at the end of a small panic attack. I wanted to put this in here just show people that they're not alone. I'm trying my best and growing everyday but it's far from an easy ride. An hour after these photos, I went to the first postgraduate meet and greet event and met so many smart, funny and kind people.
A useful phrase I've started saying to myself to stop going into a downwards spiral before something I don't want to do is "What if it works out?" It's true what all those aesthetically pleasing self help insta accounts always post - what you're afraid of is never going to be as bad as you think it is. Feel the fear and then do it anyway.
But I'm still alive and still making new friends, exploring new places and trying new things. I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come and I hope that someone reading this can relate and see that anxiety won't always control your life. It only controls your life if you let it. Why would you deny yourself and the world the most and best of you? You're more than your anxiety, believe me.
I've met some really lovely people here as well. Just like freshers, everyone here is in the same boat pretty much, which makes the whole idea of making new friends so much less daunting.
That being said, I'm so excited to see the girls from Birmingham soon! Going from living with your best friends to alone in a small studio flat has its crappy moments let me assure you.
I hope that doesn't come across as cocky or showing off. Two years ago I didn't even think I was capable of graduating from undergrad and now here I am. It's all just a bit crazy. I'm so incredibly grateful for the opportunities I've been given here.
If you've read one of my posts before, you'll know I have social anxiety, which can be a massive pain in the arse when you've just moved to a brand new place where you don't know anyone.
After my parents dropped me off and it was time to actually settle into my new life on my own, it was very overwhelming and I spent many hours crying in my shower, overthinking every little thing that could possibly happen. The ugly side of anxiety that no one really openly talks about. This is picture I took at the end of a small panic attack. I wanted to put this in here just show people that they're not alone. I'm trying my best and growing everyday but it's far from an easy ride. An hour after these photos, I went to the first postgraduate meet and greet event and met so many smart, funny and kind people.A useful phrase I've started saying to myself to stop going into a downwards spiral before something I don't want to do is "What if it works out?" It's true what all those aesthetically pleasing self help insta accounts always post - what you're afraid of is never going to be as bad as you think it is. Feel the fear and then do it anyway.
But I'm still alive and still making new friends, exploring new places and trying new things. I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come and I hope that someone reading this can relate and see that anxiety won't always control your life. It only controls your life if you let it. Why would you deny yourself and the world the most and best of you? You're more than your anxiety, believe me.
I've met some really lovely people here as well. Just like freshers, everyone here is in the same boat pretty much, which makes the whole idea of making new friends so much less daunting.
That being said, I'm so excited to see the girls from Birmingham soon! Going from living with your best friends to alone in a small studio flat has its crappy moments let me assure you.
That's all from me at the moment I guess...thank's for reading!
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